Q+A with Erika Lenkert, author of The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy

What's the best piece of advice you learned from the Mommy Menagerie?

The 111 women who make up the Mommy Menagerie—and have had nearly 200 children between them—offered so many diverse experiences and nuggets of wisdom I can’t say there is merely one “best” piece of advice.
But one of my greatest discoveries in learning of their experiences was that no matter where you live or what you do, every pregnant woman or mother has easy access to an incredible support system if she reaches out to other pregnant women or mothers. As mothers, we have a shared experience and understanding that gives us the confidence to be amazingly candid about the trials and tribulations of pregnancy and parenting. The secret to gaining this support from those around you is simply to open up to and be honest with someone you trust who has been there.

Did you notice a big difference in the experiences between the younger mothers and the older mothers that you surveyed?

Not so much in younger versus older mothers. Where I saw a much bigger difference was between first-time moms and veterans. The second time around women tend to be less fearful of what can go wrong, more relaxed with weight gain and what they eat and do, and more exhausted since their existing children don’t allow them the opportunity to become one with the couch whenever the spirit moves them.   
You have a background as a lifestyle writer. How did that background inform your work on this book?

Pregnancy is not just a temporary situation. It’s a lifestyle, albeit a short-lived one. A lot of books out there take a clinical stance on understanding what goes on during the three trimesters. The Real Deal Guide is a proactive primer on how to make the most of all aspects of your life as a pregnant person, including health, pampering, sleeping, socializing, shopping, saving money, having sex, and experiencing your emotions. I’d say every single word in the book is about how to live the pregnant lifestyle to the best of your ability.

What was your weirdest moment as a pregnant woman?

By far, the weirdest moment was during my unplanned C-section. I was very doped up and completely numb, but could feel the surgeons rifling around in my innards to pull out my girl. That was weird enough, but what put it over the top was when I realized the group of doctors, draped in scrubs and masks, were talking about the best ways to prepare fish! As a lifestyle writer and an extreme extrovert, I couldn’t help but chime in that I develop recipes for magazines and books. Before I knew it, we were all bantering about great fish recipes while they completed the surgery. I later emailed the head surgeon a fantastic recipe for salmon with sherry vinaigrette.

What was your favorite thing about being pregnant?

Being in my body. While I can’t say I was quite as fond of my rotund figure as I was my pre-pregnancy body, I was completely enthralled with all of the changes my body went through while producing a human from scratch. There’s absolutely nothing like it, and it’s a truly magical experience.

What's the one piece of advice you wish you'd known before you were pregnant?

Travel like crazy with your partner before you have kids. I’ve been a travel junkie forever, and hit most of my adventure goals before I had my daughter. But my husband had never been out of the country before we went to Thailand—and that’s where I got pregnant. I would have liked to have gone on more adventures with him as a twosome. Now that I’m a mom I’m less cavalier about what I do and where I go because my purpose in life is about more than just me. And I’m also not one to leave my girl for any extended period of time, so heading to Morocco to take cooking classes and play on the beach is out of the question—at least for the next decade or so.

What's your favorite piece of advice to give new moms-to-be?

Do whatever you have to do to take time for yourself and try not to overextend yourself in other areas, such as work (as I did). Becoming a mother takes some getting used to and the less stress you integrate into the picture, the easier the transition for you. Creating a smooth transition also allows you to see beyond the sleep deprivation and anxiety and appreciate your baby and how amazing and deeply moving new motherhood is.