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Don't fight change |
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Your taste in clothes varies over time; so do your sexual tastes and needs. Keep your partner up to date, and they won't feel threatened or left behind. |
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Work on your self-esteem
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The happier you are with who you are, the more likely you are to speak up. Make sure there's no power imbalance in your relationship. The one who makes the sexual moves is usually the one who calls the shots. |
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Build intimacy outside the bedroom |
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Let your partner see the ‘real you' - especially the silly, awkward bits. If you feel like doing Britney impressions, dancing around the living room, do it! The more often they see the not-so-glam-or-in-control you, the more they'll relax. |
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Remove any blame
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If the problem is that one of you wants sex more, don't persecute the ‘less sexy' partner or accuse the other one of being a ‘sex maniac'. It's no one's fault. It's a problem the two of you have, so solve it as a couple together. |
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Both work out what you're upset about |
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Have a good old think solo before getting together to talk about it. Try to think of solutions, not just the problem. If you're upset because he's not spending enough time on foreplay, spell out exactly what you'd like more of. Then talk it through. |
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Don't avoid sex, keep on having it
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Most sex problems turn into longterm dramas when the couple avoid the bedroom and refuse to admit there's a problem. |
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Break your relationship routine
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Start off small: suggest you go to the movies instead of renting a video. Have sex in the spare room instead of your own. New experiences leave us feeling refreshed and pay dividends. |
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